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On Leading and Being Led: Knowing When its Time to Leave
Sometimes the right thing to do is to leave, but it is never right to leave in a bad way, so far as it depends upon you.
Does it feel like time to throw in the towel? Are you stressed to the max? Do you find yourself constantly at odds with senior church leaders? Do you feel under-appreciated or mis-understood? Have you found yourself thinking recently that it might be time for a change? Before you walk into the senior pastor’s office and hand in your resignation, consider the following:
Do the senior leaders of your church know about your concerns? If you have not shared your concerns and struggles with the leaders of your church, it is impossible for them to respond or help. In addition to their ability to lead the church towards change when it is needed, it is likely you will find compassion and solid counsel when bringing these things out into the open.
Do you have trusted people around you who can help to evaluate your thinking? Christians are not intended to live isolated lives – we are designed for community. This means that our thinking benefits from the perspective of others. Maybe you aren’t seeing the issues correctly, or are completely off base altogether. The beauty of the way God has designed the church, is such that we can benefit from each other in this way. Some of the most fruitful conversations I have ever had with brothers in Christ have been ones in which they were helping me to see that my thinking was off-base or un-Biblical. Be sure not to choose someone who you know already shares the same issue – ie someone you know will agree with you and might feed the negative sentiments you are hoping to have evaluated.
Are the issues truly significant? Sometimes, because of other circumstances or our own short-comings, we will view an issue as being a big-deal when it really isn’t. For example, we tech folks know there is a “right” way to do production; plan ahead, test ahead, etc. One of the most common tensions for us in tech ministry is that other elements of the church seem to work against us in these things at times. But is the stress of last minute sermon slides (as an example) worth quitting over? There are times in which differences in vision may necessitate going different directions, and sometimes truly un-Biblical or un-Godly things are taking place of which you should not be a part. However, be sure you are not leaving because you have no patience with those who don’t see things your way.
Are you making the past come back to life? If you have been hurt in church staff positions in the past, or have gone through this scenario with someone, you must guard against the tendency to project these past events onto your current situation. It is a reality that serving a church is a messy endeavor at times – after all the church is the collection of redeemed sinners. But we must make sure that it is the Gospel of Grace that defines us, not our past painful experiences.
What do you believe about suffering? It seems that the Bible teaches us that God uses suffering for our good; to grow us and teach us (Hebrews 12, Deuteronomy 4:25-31). Perhaps a good soaking in these and other passages on suffering will give your circumstances some context and meaning.
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Rob Connelly currently serves at North Wake Church in Wake Forest, NC as director of technology and communication. He is the owner of Connelly Audio, providing technology, ministry and systems consulting to churches. Rob is also a student at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his wife Ashley have two young sons.
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ADD NEW COMMENTHi Rob.This is wisdom brother.Very very well said.Could not have said it better.I’m simply leaving.I’m simply leaving because of growing opportunities at the church I’m joining.I’ve been given the oppotunity of heading the tech dept and do pastoral some weekdays,where I just used to sing in my previous church.I do believe that greater responisibilities bring growth and andvancement and builds one’s capacity
Posted by PC,johannesburg,South Africa on 02/15/2012 report abuse
So true and not just for techs, but pastors too. We are looking for a way out, when we need to work improve the situation. I am blesed with a few who come alongside and tell me when my “crown” is not on level. In other words, when I have become part of the problem and not the solution. Regardless of your position in ministy, we all need those who challenge us to become more than we have ever been. When this happens, the kingdom grows and God’s ministry is truly blessed. Truly a win for God.
Posted by Pastor Mike on 01/24/2012 report abuse
Thanks for this timely article. I’ve been the tech guy in my current church for 15 years and have been contemplating a change. I am the ONLY tech guy in our church and I feel guilty about leaving. Perhaps I need to prayerfully voice my concerns a little better. I have been thinking of a written policy/capabilities of the tech ministry to better define what we can do and what we need to make it work. Preferably not 8:30 AM submissions for the 8:45 service.
Posted by Green Mutt on 01/16/2012 report abuse
When a sense of excelence is not an expectation by the main staff in how the worskip experience is presented, it’s time to step down and avoid the conflict. When it spills into the church vision, it’s time to leave. I had to make that dificult choice and am blessed beyond my wildest expectation. Like Ironknight stated keep seeking spiritual growth!!!!
Posted by happy in His service on 01/13/2012 report abuse
This is exactly how I recently stepped down from tech ministry with our plant, however, I did not leave the church, just the tech ministry… sometimes we just need to take a break too. I also think that a great follow up article would be - How not to abuse your tech volunteers… so that they don’t get burned out ... there is mutal responsibility here, mine to say something, and shepherding to be observant and not take volunteers for granted.
Posted by stepped down well on 01/12/2012 report abuse
There are times when a ministry is growing. It does not mean that common sense or the old man will not try to creep back into the situation. Some will be attracted due to wanting to join some seen as “cool”, as people, we sometimes overlook the job to do vs the desire to seem important. One is a ministry, the other is just trying to take a position! Sometimes we have to do as Paul, shake the dust from your feet & just keep seeking spiritual growth!!!!
Posted by lionknight on 01/12/2012 report abuse
WOW it’s amazing how God’s timing works. I actually just went through leaving our Church and the tech ministry for many of the same reasons cited here. As was said, prayerful consideration must be used and in the end, the decision for all parties involved, it was best for my wife and I to find another Church home. The article was very spot on and was actually reassurance that I did do the right thing. Thanks for the timliness of this article, I needed that.
Posted by Allen D on 01/12/2012 report abuse
Well said! The closing statement regarding how one leaves cannot be overstated. If you leave wishing harm on the church or its leaders, check your motives for leaving. The problem may not be with the others in leadership - it may be you! Our Lead Pastor reminds us frequently that unlike a common workplace where it is difficult enough to maintain relationships, as church leaders “we wrestle not against flesh and blood…” and people are not the enemy.
Posted by jc on 01/11/2012 report abuse
Excellent advice but very difficult to follow. We must daily remind ourselves who we are, what we are doing and why we are doing it.
Posted by S. D. on 01/11/2012 report abuse
Thanks for this article. Brought to light a few things in my ministry.
Posted by T. L. on 01/11/2012 report abuse