Ask most design firm representatives if they believe in collaboration, and the answer will be a resounding “yes.” Yet, few of us are trained in the people skills needed to make collaboration happen. In fact, many of us unknowingly shape our dialogue in ways that work against it. The following are five phrases that kill collaboration along with some ideas on what to say instead to keep the ideas flowing:
1. “I don’t like it.”
The problem with saying we don’t like something is that it is too generic to be actionable. It will often stop the conversation because no one is certain what to say next—or worse, it forces people to defend their idea (which won’t make us suddenly like it). A better response than “I don’t like it” would be to ask clarifying questions to create time to figure out why a solution being presented isn’t the right path. For example, if a designer reveals a logo that you don’t care for, you may ask: “What is the strategy behind the colors?” or “How does this solution communicate our mission?” Asking clarifying questions can shape the dialogue in a way that makes people discuss the “why” of a solution, and hopefully get to a better one.
2. “That is overdesigned.”
While the “overdesigned” gauntlet is great in a game of one-upsmanship, it is terrible for getting people to work together toward an improved design solution. Why? Because it insinuates the designer doesn’t have the client’s interests at heart. A better approach is to acknowledge the design work, and ask if there is a way to simplify.
3. “That looks dated.”
This phrase is popular because it positions the person who said it as the style-maker and the person who presented the “dated” idea as out-of-touch. Given the popularity of brands like Shinola and Converse, retro is always fashionable. A better response is to describe the look that is desired. For example, sharing, “Our client is more Starbucks meets REI. How might we achieve that aesthetic?” will foster better ideas than simply stating that the current idea looks dated.
4. “It’s too expensive.”
“Too expensive” sets an invisible ceiling that may or may not be real. We all know our clients have budgets, and one of the challenges of design meetings is that they are often focused on a particular area rather than the whole project (which is where the budget is generated). Rather than setting the “too expensive” ceiling—and causing the person who presented the option to take a defensive stance—it is helpful to lead the dialogue back to the “why” with clarifying questions. What are the advantages to this solution? Could we get this functionality a different way? If we invest that much money, is this the best place to invest it? With artful questions, others at the table can often come to see where the money needs to flow. There are advantages to not leading with “it’s too expensive.”
The reality is that we all make statements that are not conducive to collaboration. It takes intention to train ourselves to get better and to build our muscle-memory for asking clarifying questions.
5. “Let’s think about this strategically.”
Too many times, process gets redirected not because people aren’t thinking strategically, but because people keep re-examining the strategy. Unless we are at a strategy-setting meeting, chances are the clear mission has been defined and doesn’t need to be re-examined. Prompting people to look at solutions through the eyes of the mission requires a different phrase. Asking, “How can we meet the mission?” or “Does this solution accomplish __________?” can be much more effective and specific than reminding people to “think strategically.”
Facilitator Bryann Alexandros recommends that people defer judgment during ideation. He adds, “Not only should you permit the unrestricted divergence of ideas, but you should protect the creative spirit from the start.” Placing the focus on the generation of ideas rather than on killing the bad ideas requires skill. A negotiation expert, Ava Abramowitz, highlights that good questions, skillfully asked, bring energy from the participants. Not only that but building on other’s ideas creates ownership.
So the next time you are in a session where someone throws out a phrase designed to kill collaboration, make the save during the meeting to protect the flow of ideas. Then afterward, send them the link to this article.
