For many of us, when we think of great leaders, we tend to think of great orators: people who were skilled at public speaking, comfortable in front of large crowds, and could easily engage with the masses.
And while that is not an uncommon picture of many leaders, more often than not, the best leaders are also ones who don’t just talk, but listen.
[Leadership is about] being able to engage with people one-on-one so they know that they matter and their voice is being heard.
Leadership isn’t necessarily about having a platform for sharing one’s opinion or rallying an army. It’s about being able to engage with people one-on-one so they know that they matter and their voice is being heard.
For those of us in church technical ministry, it can sometimes be easier to talk than to listen. We may feel comfortable freely giving our opinion or feedback on many aspects of church life. But while that can sometimes make us feel better by venting or trying to get better ideas on the table, it can also serve to alienate those around us who might feel that we’re only concerned with seeing our own side of things.
If we are truly interested in leading our teams better and gaining more influence across our ministry, then we must improve our ability to listen.
Here are three key reasons why it’s critical that we learn to listen first:
1-We serve the vision of the house.
For many of us, part of what has helped us become successful in our careers is our own skills and abilities. We’ve worked hard to develop the talents that God has given us and, as a result, we’ve gotten proficient in our role.
However, that can sometimes lead to a “my way or the highway” or a “I’m the smartest person in the room” approach where we focus more on ourselves than the people around us.
The challenge is that technical ministry exists to serve the greater ministry vision of the house we are at. It’s not about our technical preferences becoming the tail that wags the dog. Rather, it’s about us using our skill to serve our pastors and the leaders of the various ministry areas.
It’s not about our technical preferences becoming the tail that wags the dog. Rather, it’s about us using our skill to serve our pastors and the leaders of the various ministry areas.
So, instead of trying to always insist on our agenda or preference be followed, we should take time to understand and embrace the ministry vision of the organization. What are its broader goals? Who is it trying to reach? What is it trying to do to become successful?
Then, once I understand that vision, I must make the choice to allow my position and my skills to serve it. When the ministry vision is being reached, we all share in the success together.
2-We ask questions--because team feedback is valuable.
In order to effectively understand those around us, though, we must first focus on asking questions. It’s not about always pushing my agenda or trying to ramrod my perspective or opinion down the throat of those around me.
Not only should I emphasize asking questions to understand ministry vision, but I should be doing this in every relationship possible.
When I’m working with my staff or volunteers, I can help them feel engaged and empowered when I ask questions to gauge their feedback on something. It’s amazing how people feel when they know their leaders are willing to listen to their feedback on something. It creates an incredible sense of buy-in from a team, and they tend to be more likely to go above and beyond when they know that their feelings matter to those around them.
It’s amazing how people feel when they know their leaders are willing to listen to their feedback on something. It creates an incredible sense of buy-in from a team....
So, instead of taking a hardline approach with policies and procedures, I should endeavor to stop and ask key people on my team for their feelings. Perhaps a long-serving volunteer could have valuable feedback or insight as to how a new practice should work, or maybe there’s even another team member whose background, age, or experience might bring a different perspective to an idea that I hadn’t considered.
Every part of a body is critical in order for that body to work. In a human body, when extremities feel pain or discomfort, they need to be able to relay that back to a central system to help regulate that. Our teams are the same way.
Every part of a body is critical in order for that body to work.
Our team members need to have confidence that there’s an open line of communication between them and their leaders, and that those of us in leadership roles care enough about those people that we’re willing to listen to them.
This even goes beyond just workflow communication. Are we asking our team questions about their lives in general? Their families, jobs and health? How about their personal Sabbath and whether they’re taking time to rest and recharge spiritually? Whether they enjoy their role serving on the team and if they still feel fulfilled?
Asking questions is a must for any leader, and the impact it creates is immeasurable.
3-We are open to feedback.
If we’re willing to listen to others and ask questions, then we need to take it a step further than simply asking our team members questions about themselves. We need to ask them questions about us.
This can sometimes be challenging and painful, because nobody wants to willingly open themselves up to candid feedback that, despite being true, could hurt to hear. But if we truly do want to become the best leaders we can be, we have to be willing to allow others to speak into our lives about the blind spots they see in us.
... if we truly do want to become the best leaders we can be, we have to be willing to allow others to speak into our lives about the blind spots they see in us.
We all have parts of life that we don’t see or recognize ourselves: attitudes, words, actions, etc. Some things happen subconsciously and we may not even realize what we’re doing or the impact we're having.
If we don’t foster a listen-first environment, people around us will never be comfortable proactively approaching us with that feedback, and unhealthy habits will persist, potentially damaging even more people (and our reputation) in the process.
If we’re asking questions of others, we must be willing to ask them what we can do to improve. How can I be a better leader? How can I communicate better? How can I set you up to succeed? Did I do this well, or could it have improved? How can we improve next time?
Similarly, we must be willing to listen and be open to unsolicited feedback--especially from those in authority over us.
Sometimes we want to “bow up” against other ministry leaders who try to speak into our areas because “they don’t know what they’re doing,” or “they have no idea what it takes to do this well.” We allow pride and insecurity to prevent us from receiving what could be very valuable insight. If nothing else, our attitude could lead to a perspective that we’re rebellious or indifferent, and that could damage our reputation.
... we must be willing to listen and be open to unsolicited feedback--especially from those in authority over us.
Instead, we need to learn how to be open to others giving feedback. We need to have the maturity to separate the feedback from the one giving it (it’s not an indication of whether the person is good-hearted or not), and from our own identities (someone giving me feedback doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or less of a person).
When we truly show a willingness to listen, it does wonders for our environments. Other teams are willing to work with mine because they know that I’m a true ministry partner for them. My team is more willing to serve because they know I care about them as people. My leaders are more willing to increase my influence and responsibilities because they know I’m open to feedback on my growth journey.
And most of all, when we model a listening culture we set the pace for the rest of our team and are able to build a legacy of selflessness and service. And this will exist well after we’re gone.
