Photo by Ketut Subiyanto @ www.pexels.com
“Wait... they said what?” Ministry wounds can come out of nowhere—but you’re not alone in the pain.
The Christmas season is one full of so many great messages and themes, like joy, hope, and peace. Unfortunately for those serving in church ministry, December is often so busy and chaotic with event and service planning that there’s rarely any margin to be able to stop long enough to embrace and contemplate those ideas.
So this year, I’m proposing that we have a “Christmas in July,” when the big event is (hopefully) still too far away to cause planning-induced stress, and pause our summers long enough to reflect on how the messages of Christmas can actually be applicable year-round, even for aspects of the Christmas story that we may not often think about.
When ministry hurts the most, remember --- Jesus was rejected too.
While peace, hope, and joy get plenty of attention, what if one of the biggest themes of Jesus’ birth was how his family had to face hurt and rejection? That sounds to me like it could definitely be a theme applicable to anyone serving in ministry.
After all, there may be few ministry teams who have had to deal with wounds, rejection, and isolation as much as techs and creatives do.
We’ve all read countless times that Mary and Joseph were forced to stay in the manger because there was no room in the “inn.” But what if the “inn” wasn’t really what we think it is? What if there wasn’t a night shift manager to tell them they were sold out, and there was no option but to go to the barn? What if it was a potentially more personal and painful experience for Mary and Joseph than to just be stuck without a Vrbo?
Sometimes the deepest wounds in ministry come from the people we thought we could trust.
In the context of the story, Mary and Joseph were returning to Bethlehem for the census, because that’s where he was from. Thus, he would have had plenty of relatives and extended family also around, both already living there and also traveling back for the census themselves. In theory, because Jewish culture so greatly emphasized family, there likely would have been a healthy network of people to surround and support this couple with an impending baby.
The Greek word for “inn,” used in the narrative, really refers to a guest room in someone’s house, not a room or building used for commercial purposes, like we think of an inn.
So Mary and Joseph were going back to his family’s generational home, probably expecting to stay in a spare room in the house with other visiting relatives, having to share the bathroom with Uncle Verne and trying to scrounge for whatever pillows Aunt Mildred didn’t already take.
Imagine their surprise, then, when they get there and find out it wasn’t an option. Best-laid plans go out the window. Dreams of time with family dashed.
They needed a warm embrace. They got the cold shoulder. Sound familiar?
Maybe it was just a logistical oversight of simply too many people and not enough square footage. Or maybe it was intentional, with the family choosing to ostracize a couple for what appeared to be the social faux pas of a wedlock pregnancy.
Regardless of the motivation, imagine how Mary and Joseph felt. Hurt. Betrayed. Lonely. Embarrassed.
And their family did what many of us have sometimes seen church families also do: those who need the embrace of community the most sometimes find themselves the ones most often on the outside looking in.
Unfortunately, many of us serving in ministry have been wounded by “church hurt” before. We thought we had a ministry family we could count on during a difficult time, but they weren’t there when we needed them the most.
We thought we could be vulnerable in our challenging seasons. We thought our leaders would have our backs and support us. We thought we had people who understood our hearts and were willing to stand up for us.
Or maybe we didn’t have people to talk to. We didn’t have shoulders to cry on during our difficult seasons. We didn’t have the support and acceptance we needed.
And instead, we had to deal with the hurt, loneliness, rejection, and neglect on our own and try to push through as best we could, just like Mary and Joseph had to.
Maybe you’ve been there before, or maybe you’re there now. Maybe you haven’t been there yourself, but you know someone who has.
The good news is that Jesus knows how it feels. His life began in a place of rejection and oversight by the people that he (and his parents) should have been able to count on the most. When Mary and Joseph needed a warm embrace, they got the cold shoulder instead.
Jesus knows what it’s like to be rejected, overlooked, and abandoned by people he should have been able to count on.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV) reminds us that “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Christmas is a season of hope for many reasons, and one of those is that we all long for better things than we may currently be experiencing. There’s almost an expectation that something fresh and unexpected will be just over the horizon. It’s a hope that can spring anew out of our feelings of darkness, loneliness, and isolation.
On a ministry calendar, our Decembers might be too busy for us to be able to have an optimistic and hopeful view of things, but maybe we can do that now. Maybe the summer is the perfect time to stop and reflect on how, regardless of what I’m going through, even if it’s something incredibly painful, Jesus understands and can walk with me through it.
Whatever you’re dealing with that might have broken your heart or crushed your spirit, just know that he’s there for you. If you feel your ministry family rejected you or let you down, or maybe were even the ones to inflict the hurt themselves, remember that he’s close to you. He knows your pain. He’s been there himself.
This is a world of trouble, of pain, of hurt. And the wounds we suffer at the hands of others, even in ministry, may linger and fail to heal.
Even though the hurt and rejection may continue, his comforting presence does also. Yes, he was born in a season of darkness to bring light to those who needed it, but that’s not something only available in December.
As Jeremiah noted in Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV), “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
A promise like that is a gift that we can enjoy all year long.
