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Pressure is part of production. How we manage what it brings out in us matters.
Whenever we think about the idea of having healthy boundaries, we generally think of the importance of drawing effective lives between our work and personal lives so that we can maintain a semblance of work-life balance between the demands of family and ministry responsibilities.
But what if that isn’t the only way we need to think of boundaries? What if there were more situations where we needed to be mindful of intentionally containing aspects of our life in healthy parameters?
How we respond under pressure reveals where our boundaries really are.
Just about every aspect of our life needs to be thought of like a river: as soon as it breaches healthy boundaries, it can bring destruction and damage to anything close to it.
And in few places is this more true than with how we manage our emotions.
When done properly and with healthy boundaries, we can nurture strong relationships, keep our minds and bodies healthy, and grow in our influence. But as soon as those emotions burst over their banks, damage and chaos can result.
Being in church media can be a highly stressful environment, and tensions can often run high.
In those moments, I have a choice: will I be a fool giving full vent to my anger (Prov. 29:11) or do I show restraint in what I say and how I say it? When I don’t get my way, do I run to others to gossip and complain, or am I more willing to be patient and overlook offenses (Prov. 19:11)?
What about in how I choose to navigate stress and pressure?
In those moments, it can be easy to run to pleasurable things on which I can overindulge to dull my senses. For some, it may be a nightcap of alcohol. For others it may be food or video games. It may be pornography or gambling.
In some of those cases, moderation when enjoying pleasures of life (like milkshakes or Mario Kart) isn’t problematic. But when I go overboard and start to make those things the focus of my life and I begin overdoing it to feed some sort of craving, that’s when the destruction begins (Prov. 25:16).
The question isn't simply what we desire, but whether our desires are controlling us.
And just because I can do it, doesn't necessarily mean that it’s a good choice or is beneficial, as Paul notes multiple times in 1 Corinthians.
In other scenarios, where a vice or habit is blatantly sinful, the New Testament repeatedly warns of the dangers that come when we allow our fleshly cravings and desires to drive our actions (James 1:14-15, Gal. 6:8, Rom. 8:6).
It seems pretty obvious that having addictive behavior we run to as a relief from stress and anxiety is an example of lacking healthy boundaries to manage those parts of our emotions.
But what about something more subtle, like having a proper balance of pride in our success, versus allowing ego and self-gratification to become unhealthy motivators?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be good at our job, as the Bible often notes people recognized for having skill in their craft. Nor is there anything inherently wrong with receiving praise or recognition for a job well done.
However, when that desire for advancement or adoration flows outside of healthy parameters, it can destroy ourselves and our relationships.
Craving recognition can push us to a place where we’re tempted to belittle or ignore others to ensure we get attention. We can become envious and jealous of others’ influence and can begin to sabotage situations so we can get the upper hand.
When that happens, I’ve not only dishonored others and failed to put their interests ahead of my own (Phil. 2:3-4), but I’ve also made the focus of my work to gain the adoration of others instead of rewards from the Lord (Col. 3:23-24).
Even good desires can become destructive when they flow outside healthy boundaries.
Surely though, it’s OK for me to want to be recognized for my efforts, right? I mean, we all want to feel accepted and appreciated and affirmed. And there’s probably nothing wrong with with trying to grow in my influence and skill so I can be in a place of greater impact or be in a position to better provide for my family?
Again, there are ways to do this in a healthy way, like praying for the Lord to open doors and waiting patiently for advancement while still continuing to honor and respect those around me. Or maybe this is seen in humbly sharing with my superiors how it affects me when I feel marginalized and overlooked, and how it would be great to feel like I’m contributing to the team.
On the flip side, do I invest all of my energy on social media promoting my “brand” or talking about what I’ve done so I can gain more followers, instead of sharing what my church has been able to accomplish? Do I chase influence and opportunities because it helps me puff my chest up a little more when I talk about what I’ve done or who I’ve done it with?
One path is healthy and productive, and the other can become a destructive process of alienating myself from others and fueling a sense of competition and comparison.
Ultimately, any part of our lives has the opportunity to be healthy and beneficial when managed properly, or it can step outside those boundaries and wreak havoc on our bodies, minds, and relationships.
When our human nature lends itself to fulfilling cravings that feed feelings of our bodies and emotions, it is hard to force ourselves to push back against those and handle our responses differently.
With the Lord’s help, we can avoid our emotional river becoming a flood that devastates and ensure that it instead brings life and vibrance to all it touches.
