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In January 2016, after years of being behind financially, my wife and I decided to buckle down and put a lot of effort into boosting our savings. “No vacations this year,” I said. This meant no breaks throughout the year to get away and recharge, but I thought it would be worth it to get ahead in savings.
Build time into your schedule for the things that bring you joy.
I’m a church creative. A profession that can be as stressful as it is rewarding. Managing requests for content, leading teams, providing pastoral care, dealing with strained team dynamics, and comparing myself to others brought emotional exhaustion. Changes in the organization had me feeling like a failure (it doesn’t help that I’m a people pleaser). But remember, my wife and I made the commitment to save, so no breaks this year.
Although I knew how to deal with these stress factors individually, I wasn’t prepared for the effect they would have on me cumulatively. Leaders had warned me about this but I didn’t recognize the signs. My mind raced out of control. Occasionally it would shut down, leading to limited productivity and feelings of guilt. I began questioning what I was doing. I had no business in ministry. I found myself frequently telling my wife, “There’s something wrong with me. What’s wrong with me?” I was overcome with feelings of hopelessness.
Positive action
If any of this describes your current state of mind, you could be dealing with situational depression, as I was. If so, it’s important to act now. I would suggest evaluating the things that are creating the most tension in your life. Tackle one thing at a time. Take time off away from the office—even if it means staying home. Seek Christian counseling. Confide in a trusted friend. Be open and honest about what you’re feeling with someone close to you. Talk.
Part of the solution for me involved falling back on my training as a commercial pilot. I started dealing with the most critical emergencies first. I began by tackling project management, which had been a big stressor for me. I reluctantly asked a coworker if my family and I could use their vacation home to get away. I met with a counselor and began dealing with my people-pleasing tendencies and a strained working relationship. I withdrew from several things that were emotionally draining, replacing them with activities that brought me joy. And I continued to talk openly with my wife. She displayed true, unconditional love. I could feel my racing thoughts, anxiety, stress, and hopelessness slowly begin to fade.
Vigilance
Pay attention to the signs. Recognize when you’re taking on too much, and be willing to admit when you need help. Build time into your schedule for the things that bring you joy. And remember, you’re not alone.
If you spot these signs in your team members, allow them the freedom to be open and honest about it without passing judgment. Show them the same patience, love, and support your Heavenly Father has shown you.
As creatives, God uses us to restore hope and move people closer to Him. And He chooses to do this in spite of and through our difficulties.
[Editor's note: This piece was originally published in 2018.]
