Eight months ago I left professional ministry. After almost ten years, I felt God had called me to leave the ministry. It was odd for me, because when I felt this door close, there was no open window, no new job on the horizon, no safety net waiting for me to fall into. I felt like I had this opportunity to make a leap of faith, and I felt like I would be a hypocrite if I didn't listen to this God that I had been serving faithfully for last decade. So I quit. My last day was on a Friday, I stayed unemployed for Saturday. Sunday I got offered a gig out of the blue, from a company I hadn't talked with in months and I have been busy ever since.
Fast forward eight months I have been able to earn more, travel more, be with family more, and work less. In the past eight months I have been stretched professionally, I have done work I didn't know I was capable of. I relearned to enjoy what I do, especially because it runs the gamut from live production to pre/post production/consulting, it's never the same and it's never boring.
It is also a little finite and underwhelming.
For example, I produce corporate videos, or events for large companies to use internally. They make the rounds, people who need to see them do, maybe they even get distributed externally, but then it's over. My works serves its purpose and then it's finished. Here is the question I've been asking myself lately: “Is my work significant?” It's funny I never asked myself this question when I was serving in ministry. I always just assumed there was eternal significance in what I did. I would do my work and God would take care of the rest. I wonder if maybe I shouldn't have been asking myself that same question when I was in ministry.
The answer I keep finding to my question now is, “Sure, it serves a purpose, but not eternally so.” So I struggle with trying to find significance in my new work. When you have “bringing people into God's kingdom” as the stick by which you measure significance, you find yourself a little underwhelmed with how little everything else measures by comparison.
So now I am seeking that same significance in other ways, like; there is significance in the fact that I still serve at my church as a high-capacity volunteer. I am now able to help my successor in ways I never had a volunteer help me. I can insure he gets some weekends off, and that he needn't worry about things burning down when he isn't around. I helped design and install our system, so no one knows how to use it better then me. Our current video director does a great job, but when he thinks about taking time off and wonders what will happen if something goes wrong he can find comfort in the fact that the best person to handle the problem is on the job. That is not trivial, and if you have been in ministry for any measurable amount time, you can appreciate just how significant it is.
There is significance in the fact that my family can tithe more. In fact a few weeks ago my wife asked me if I had tithed off what I had been making. Sadly I hadn't, we had been tithing off her income. But because mine was so unpredictable, I was never sure what to give. That week I sat down and figured out what I should have tithed over the last several months, and it was not an insignificant amount. In fact to me it was a startling number. The amazing part was when I looked into my bank account to see how much I was able to give, there was more than enough to cover the amount. God is good, and this was a fantastic reminder to me of just how good he is. That is significant.
However, I still feel like I could and should be doing more. Our senior pastor has said dozens of times, “You only have a little bit of time, and little bit of talent and a little bit of treasure.” Have I have invested all of the time talent and treasure I have been given? The answer is a resounding “No!” But in the face of that insignificance I still struggle to find a way for my time treasure and talent to have meaning and eternal value.
It was never tough to do that when I was in ministry, and I wasn't honestly prepared to have to search for it when I left. So my advice to people who serve in technical ministry is to appreciate what it is you are doing even though there are times when it seems like all you do is beat your head on a wall. What you contribute to your church and to the Church is not trivial, no matter how it might seem. If you are actively involved in ministry, this may be the most significant thing you do in your lifetime. Act like it.
