A number of weeks ago I wrote about M3 Technology (read it here). Right after I wrote that entry I was in a rehearsal for a Sunday morning service where the lead singer asked at least twice to have more of her voice in her monitor. Without even thinking (I do that way too often) I shouted back from the booth, in a fun and playful tone, “Oh, sure it’s always all about you, isn’t it?” My quip brought some chuckles from the musicians on stage followed by the leader of the band break out into a verse of “it’s all about you Amy, it’s all about you……..” which gave everyone there, including Amy a good laugh. Well, like often happens, “that got me thinking”…….
My first thought was, Wow what a great, fun bunch of people I get to worship with every week. No one takes themselves too seriously, all of us are confident enough to laugh at ourselves, strong enough to take some fun jabs when they are sent our way, Driven enough to strive to reach excellence, and Passionate enough to pour our all into it week after week. In that thought I realized that I need to be thankful for the opportunity that I have to be part of such a great team. Also, the thought, “I need to be a better encourager to the team”, popped into my head.
My second thought was not as encouraging or even fun. In fact, it was downright convicting. The thought “It is all about me, I make it that way” seared my consciousness and weighed on my heart as heavy as a blanket left out in the rain, now soaked with water. Yikes, “am I doing this for what I get?
The fun I have with the band and tech team?
The pride I feel in doing a job well?
Dare I say it; the arrogance I feel because I am involved in something that I think is spectacular?
What about my ego that gets fed when I receive accolades?
Yep, I had once again made it all about me. O, sure I could try to rationalize it, “I am giving my best to the Lord, and he is blessing me back with the things and feelings”. Yep, I could rationalize it, but really when I looked deep into my heart what did I see? There it is jumping out, the raw naked truth; I had taken what was His and made it all about me.
Most times when we look deep in our heart and see our true motives we realize that somehow some way we continue to make things all about us. The antidote: explore and then expose what is in your heart, recognize it for what it is selfishness, confess it and pray for a changed heart. So, Amy it turns out that it is not all about you, but rather I make it all about me. In truth and reality we all need to make it all about Him!
