Relationships are messy and confusing. Just ask the characters of Pixar's Toy Story. Woody, the well-mannered cowboy toy who belongs to a young boy, suddenly sees his position threatened when a new toy, Buzz Lightyear, enters the picture. Not only that, but Buzz truly believes he is on a real space mission in hopes of returning to his home planet. During a particularly heated exchange, Woody and Buzz play out this need for dominance and territory.
Woody: I'm lost, Andy is gone…they're going to move from their house in two days and it's all your fault!
Buzz: My fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place…
Woody: Oh yeah? Well if you hadn't show up in your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me…
Buzz: Don't talk to me about importance. Because of you the security of this entire universe is in jeopardy.
Woody: What?!?
Buzz:You, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!
Woody: YOU. ARE. A. TOYYYYY!
That inevitable need to be right. Throwing blame on the other party. Both symptoms of an unhealthy relationship that are often quite obvious yet difficult to recognize. For many, we fall under the illusion that power struggles are absent from church staff relationships, assuming all potential issues will be masked over by spiritual means. What we fail to realize, though, is that conflict, ego, and pride are inherent to every human being. It's in our DNA, how we are wired, and that pesky subconscious begging for attention. And few places in the church atmosphere are more ripe for this relationship dynamic to play out than between the audio engineer and worship leader.
How Did It Get To This?
Harvard Business Review, one of the leading general management and workplace publications today, has conducted thousands of interviews, case studies, and polls throughout their tenure. When looking at factors determining employee satisfaction within a job or workplace, one of the most consistently cited answers has been autonomy. The freedom from external control or influence. And boy do we love tasting the sweet nectar of freedom. Yet it's exactly here we see individuals bunker up, taking a stronghold on their territory.
The worship leader says, “I get to program the songs I want. It's no one's business but mine what the band sounds like. If there is an issue on stage, it's mine to fix. And while you're at it, the monitor mix down here stinks.” Enter the audio engineer who is found saying, “I choose the SPL in this room, so don't even start with me. No one even understands what a console is or how it works, so don't tell me how to mix. Out of balance? You don't even know what balance is. And while you're at it, your guitar tone stinks.”
Although we snicker at the scene just described, it's a scenario that plays out far too often. While differences in style, opinion, and past experience fuel every aspect of a relationship, how do we seek to nurture and grow this vital partnership?
The Greatest Example
When Jesus gathered his twelve disciples, these were not men who all acted the same, coming into the picture as highly developed, spiritually savvy, and elite members of society. From all accounts, they were average, ordinary citizens, each hailing from a varied background. The goal here was growth; the potential in what the sum of all each part would add up to. Were there disagreements? Too many to count. Differences of opinion? More than we will know. Yet the ultimate work that was accomplished happened because of a shared cause. A unity that, while still had it's share of growing pains, was centered on the strengths and complimenting personalities of each individual.
What It Takes
Relationships take time, work, communication, understanding, and more importantly, listening. We should understand that simply hoping for a generic blueprint solution here is wishful at best. No two situations are alike nor demand the same approach, but there are certainly principles which will provide the stepping stone in strengthening the bond between worship leaders and audio engineers.
Trajectory
Are both individuals headed in the same direction? It takes only one person to veer the ship off course, but takes everyone to keep it straight. Talk jointly through the goals and hopes for the worship experience, both from a musical and technical standpoint. Align yourself with a common purpose, and check in periodically ensuring the direction is still in clear sight. Does it take agreement on each minuscule part? Not at all. It's entirely possible to share a common end goal without being stagnated by details.
Growth
Anything expected to grow must be facilitated and done so on a regular basis. We can kill a garden by throwing on chemicals, fire, and cutting off roots. We can grow a garden, or at least give it the chance, by water, weeding, and giving continual attention. Yet we can also kill it unintentionally by choosing to do nothing. And by that time it's either too late or we have a huge mess on our hands. Relationships work the same way. Find ways for healthy and continual growth. Check in once a month, bring issues to the table immediately rather than letting them fester for weeks and months. Disagree when needed but use it in the spirit of achieving excellence.
Collaboration
Mike Krzyzewski, long respected for his tenure as head basketball coach for both the Duke Blue Devils and U.S. Men's National Team, often tells his players “We win as a team and we lose as a team.” Genius can't be relied on nor is one individual able to carry a true team effort. It takes all parts, working hand in hand, to see real potential unfold. One of the most powerful questions to ask might be, “What does this person know that I may not know?” Unlocking the secret to collaboration happens when we leverage the talents and insights of each person, allowing shared ideas to flow effortlessly.
Take the Next Step
Returning to our friends from Toy Story, we see conflict yet resolution in the end. Woody slowly begins to affirm Buzz's standing as a cool toy, which in his eyes is much better than being a Space Ranger. Buzz sees this encouragement in action and begins to reciprocate. Over time the two form a greater bond of trust, giving them the ability and confidence to work as a team.
Shared trajectory, continual growth, and collaboration – all necessary elements in fostering a robust partnership. And when other members of your team see this relationship played out in a healthy way, it will undoubtedly influence the entire culture of your organization.
