We’re all familiar with the military maxim of “no man left behind.” It’s the idea that in battle, a team will always stay a team. Whether there are struggles, injuries, or even fatalities, if we all came together, we’ll leave together, and you can count on your leaders or teammates to ensure that.
Unfortunately, while this proves to be an extremely valuable philosophy in war, it can actually be relatively difficult to implement in the world of ministry teams, and especially on the technical side.
Ministry is often seen as having lots of margin for grace, and teams are encouraged to be as supportive and welcoming of all team members as possible. But what if some of those team members have become dead weight? What if their presence is actually a negative influence on the team, or their performance often brings miscues and distractions into the environment?
What then? Is it OK to leave someone behind and move on without them?
While the short answer is “yes,” there are actually a lot of complexities involved in this scenario. So, it’s helpful to try and dive below the surface, because things may not always appear to be as they seem upon initial inspection.
It really helps to first separate behavior from performance.
As John Maxwell says, we must first connect before we correct.
If people seem to be struggling with their behavior, or their ability to adapt to the culture or fit of the larger team, my first job as a leader is to better understand why. And that can’t happen without my willingness to establish a personal relationship with them. As John C. Maxwell says, we must first connect before we correct.
Perhaps they have difficult things going on in their personal life right now, and I can help them get connected with a pastor who can provide counsel. Maybe they are just struggling to find a good group of friends and relational connection, so I could guide them to different options of small groups.
Maybe they just feel in over their head at some level and don’t really know how to act or what is appropriate, because they’re a new Christian and there are things they don’t understand. Maybe they didn’t know what values or standards were appropriate for the team because I never defined those things during an orientation or on-boarding process for new team members.
How can they hit a target if I never told them where to aim?
The point is, I have a choice. I can look at someone who’s late or rude or dresses inappropriately and I can immediately label them as dead weight and throw them overboard. I can also choose to “look the other way” and ignore their behavior, which actually has a larger negative impact on the team because it can impact the environment in an unhealthy way.
Or I can choose to sit down with the person and see if there are things below the surface that drive the behavior. I have to choose to “not leave them behind” and instead work to bring them to a level of behavior that benefits the team around them.
One thing that can be helpful is to provide personality tests or spiritual gifts assessments to team members. That can not only help them better understand themselves and how they fit into the larger spiritual body, but it can also give me a better idea of how I can lead them and help create a healthy environment in which they can thrive.
Ultimately, though, it comes down to the fact that people have a choice. It’s like the saying, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.”
People are the same way. I can help point them in the right direction and provide guidance, training, and investment, but they eventually have to make the choice themselves. This is the “can’t or won’t” scenario.
Sometimes people can’t do what they’re being asked to do simply because they were never properly trained or resourced how to do that thing. So before I just choose to “cut bait” and send that person packing because I’m convinced they’ll never be good enough to serve, I have to ensure that I’ve actually set them up to succeed.
Have I explained things well? Have I trained them and given them the right tools? Have I set appropriate targets, goals, and expectations? Have I clarified standards and painted a clear picture of what it looks like to be successful?
If not, and they’re failing, it’s really more my fault than theirs. How can they hit a target if I never told them where to aim?
As a leader, I can’t compare people’s gifts and abilities to each other, because that’s not what God does to us.
On the flip side, sometimes the reason why people are struggling, whether in their performance or behavior, is because they simply can’t do what is being asked. They may not have the skill set or the personality to do what is being asked of them. And that’s perfectly OK.
As a leader, I can’t compare people’s gifts and abilities to each other, because that’s not what God does to us. He creates us uniquely, and so the best thing I can do is to help someone thrive in their own lane and not try to force them to be like someone else, who may have a different gift mix.
Sometimes this means that I need to explore helping that person find success on a different team. They may want to be on this team, or I may really want them to be on this team. But if it’s obvious they can’t keep up and deliver at the necessary level, I’m doing them a disservice by keeping them in an environment in which they’ll never actually thrive. My job is to help them find fulfillment in ministry, even though that may mean moving them to a different role or even to a different team entirely.
While that person may ultimately not be on my team anymore, it doesn’t mean that I’m leaving them behind. I’m just helping them find a new role in which to thrive, so they can continue helping our overall ministry be successful.
There is one area, though, where it sometimes is necessary to make a difficult decision with a team member, and that’s where the line crosses from “can’t” to “won’t.”
These people are well aware of the expectations, whether in behavior, attitude, or performance. Maybe I’ve even re-clarified the standards with them multiple times, and both sides know that the goals have been well-established.
But for whatever reason, this person is actually choosing to not step up to meet expectations. They know the goal, they just won’t try to hit it.
As with any behavioral struggle, my first job is to try and understand why they aren’t able to keep pace. But maybe I’ve had this conversation with them before, and it just doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere.
If that’s the case, I need to ensure that other ministry leaders are aware of the situation, whether they’re my peers or superiors, because if I need to ask someone to leave the team, I also need to make sure that others in the organization will have my back and support me if the team member becomes offended. Sometimes it can also be helpful to have other leaders sit in on that “final” conversation to ensure that there’s accountability and to protect the ministry from accusations that may get leveled because the team member is hurt by the separation.
Should my goal as a ministry leader be to show as much grace and mercy as possible? Absolutely, and there should be paths for people to have second and third and fiftieth chances, at times.
But sometimes I do have to make the difficult decision to remove someone from the team for the sake of making the larger team better and healthier. It can seem painful or awkward at first, but it can provide benefits in the long run.
The important thing to always keep in mind is that all of us are God’s most valuable and prized creations, and I need to maintain that perspective through the process. I need to see situations and people as they could be, for their potential, instead of just whatever surface issues may be visible.
People are investments, not anchors, and when I’m able to maintain the right long-term perspective, that can help me overcome any leadership challenge that presents itself.
