Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who already has their mind made up? When it comes to streaming, I often hear people say things like, “Online community isn't real, so…”
That statement assumes that all people will agree that the online community isn't real. As my college philosophy professor used to say, “If you start with a bad premise, you'll end with a bad conclusion.” In other words, “garbage in, garbage out.”
Some online communities may not be real, but I've been a part of community that's at least as real as what we experience in the “real world,” maybe more so.
I met a guy from Wisconsin in my church's online campus's chat room who was struggling with similar sins that I was. It was the anonymity of the chat that emboldened him to talk with me.
He's just one of the many people I've met in person only after our friendships developed online.
So, is online community real? Sometimes.
That isn't to say that it's always real. Because of the anonymous nature of many online networks, people can, and often do, prevent real community from forming by being inauthentic. This isn't unique to online, though. Everyday you meet people who to one degree or another are pretending to be someone they're not.
You've seen the mom who pretends she's got it all together, when she doesn't or the entrepreneur who wants you to believe he's successful when he's afraid that at any time people might figure out that he's not. Fake people aren't fake online only; it's just easier to pretend to be someone else online than in real life where there are more clues.
Anonymity can be a tool for deeper relationships, too.
The anonymity of online relationships can actually, in some cases, help form closer bonds, at least at first. Imagine if, like my friend from Wisconsin, you're dealing with something that you don't like about yourself. You don't know anyone locally who has the same problem. This doesn't mean that there aren't others; you just don't know them. Now imagine that you meet someone who is dealing with the same issue. Suddenly, you're not alone. There's someone else who actually understands what you're going through. Maybe the reason you haven't found anyone locally is because you're afraid to share the struggle, afraid you'll be judged.
Online, the level of anonymity possible enables some people to confess their secrets, to say what they're afraid to say in person. An alcoholic teacher can confess to showing up to work drunk, knowing that if a parent was online, she wouldn't know who he was. Addictions can come into the light first online, providing courage for the addict to share with those she knows in person.
This isn't unique to the church or even the recovery community though. I think that phenomena like online dating and discussion forums prove the reality of the community formed online. While it may not all be real, the medium of online discussion tends to amplify who a person is, not change it. You're more you without consequences Stripped of the repercussions of being mean to others, some people will take every opportunity to “troll” others and enjoy the results. Others will find those who are in need and help them.
This isn't to say that all supposed relationships that develop online are as deep as some that form in the real world. Looking at the totality of my relationships, I'd say that, like “real life,” some people won't let you get to know them. Some actually let you see them as they actually are, petty and mean. Still others form deep friendships.
So, how can you use this information to build more real community in your live-stream?
Start by offering numerous ways to interact. If people can't talk to each other, they won't form relationships.
Moderators
Have moderators who can filter out those who are present only to take advantage of the anonymity online to amplify their base instincts. Nothing kills community like when those who desire it, don't feel safe to share.
Ask questions.
A lot of times people are looking for an opportunity to share and asking open-ended questions provides just such an opportunity.
Be Genuine
Don't be afraid to share from your experience Just like when I talked to my friend from Wisconsin, some people just want to know that someone else is struggling in the same way. You don't have to have all the answers. Sometimes, being on a journey with others, encountering the same challenges, helps to encourage them.
Personal Greetings
Do your best to remember and greet people you recognize online. If someone shows up week after week, make it a point to recognize them. This will help them to feel like they're a part of your church, even if they're physically apart from it. Don't hesitate to chit-chat when you do. You could say, “Welcome back Jim. How was your vacation?” or “We missed you last week Sally. I hope you weren't sick.”
Accept Limitations
You can't reach everyone. Judas was in close proximity to Jesus for three years and yet he still chose to betray Him. Sometimes people will choose to exclude themselves, no matter how well you react.
The more you can actually engage with people and their lives, the better you get to know them, the more real your community will become. It won't be long before you're starting to meet people in real life that you feel like you already know. That's not a mistake. It's proof that the community you've helped to form online is real.
