As leadership expert John Maxwell has noted many times, leadership is influence. It’s not a title, org chart, set of duties, amount of experience, or anything else of that nature. It’s as simple as being in a position where you have a level of interaction with someone who you can influence by your behavior or words.
Great news for sure, since many of us in the church tech world may often feel at the mercy of our standing in the organizational hierarchy, or because we’ve been tagged as an “out of sight, out of mind” sort of person (or team).
But if it’s true that anyone at any level can be an influencer, are there reasons why maybe we still don’t end up with the level of influence we desire?
When I’m afraid.., I tend to hold onto things tighter. I say no more. I push people away. I reject change.
Author Jenni Catron refers to influence as “clout” in her 2014 book of the same name. In that book, she outlines seven “clout killers” that often keep people from experiencing their “God-given influence”: fear, comparison, jealousy, scarcity, insecurity, pride, and control.
Ultimately these clout-killers all tie in with each other, and they all lead back to pride.
Pride says that the focus is all about me, not anyone else. I need the attention, and my feelings and actions in each situation revolve about what I want or need.
So, I then start to compare myself to others to ensure that I measure up effectively (and are better) than them in whatever way. If they have more than I do, I become filled with a jealous desire to have more…stuff, money, influence, people, duties, etc.
And whatever I do have isn’t good enough. A scarcity mindset invades my mind, telling me that I must constantly keep striving for more, so I can jockey for position ahead of others and ensure that I’m sufficient.
It fuels a feeling of insecurity, telling me that I don’t measure up and I never will. Soon I’m enwrapped in fear, ruminating on the worst-case scenarios that will happen if my dreams and desires aren’t met.
What happens when I feel that my voice isn’t being heard? How often do I turn that into an “us versus them” mentality where they should listen to me...
And fear always manifests itself in control. When I’m afraid of something negative or of loss, I tend to hold onto things tighter. I say no more. I push people away. I reject change. All because, as the circle completes itself, all that matters is me.
Sadly, I’ve seen this cycle at work before in the church tech community.
There’s nothing wrong with desiring influence in our ministry. In fact, our ministry needs us to step up and lead our teams well and provide healthy ideas and feedback for the organization as a whole.
But what happens when I feel that my voice isn’t being heard? How often do I turn that into an “us versus them” mentality where they should listen to me, and if only they’d do what I said we’d avoid an issue, and they don’t know what they’re doing, and on and on?
Now, instead of the big picture of the ministry being the focus (to say nothing of the idea that the New Testament reminds us that we have an “audience of One” and we should do everything for the Lord), I make it all about whether or not I’m getting my way the way I want.
It’s pride.
Remember, Satan got kicked out of heaven because of pride. He was given an incredible amount of influence and asked to lead his group of angels in “worship ministry” to praise and exalt God, giving him the attention and worship he deserved. Instead, he wanted attention for himself.
Am I doing what I’m doing to bring honor and attention to the Lord, even if things don’t always happen the way I want them to, or have I made it about me?
When it’s about me, I start to get aggravated that people in other ministries get invited to meetings and are asked their opinions and seem to be heard. The trap of comparison sucks me in, and I now subconsciously start jockeying for organizational attention and position because I feel the need to prove that I’m better than they are.
And when their influence (and team and budget) starts to grow, instead of asking how I can help serve and support their area, all I think about is that they have something I “deserve” and it’s not fair that they have it and I don’t.
I forget about the influence that I do have, with the ability to help create an amazing atmosphere and environment for people to experience God’s presence, and the scarcity mindset takes over, telling me that what I have isn’t sufficient. Spiritual influence isn’t good enough.
It’s now a competition with my peers, so I refuse to allow them opportunities to “win” or advance because I’m desperate to be seen as worthy or deserving. Insecurity tells me that no matter how reasonable a request is from the students team or the worship team or the pastoral team, I can’t “give in” to others and show that they’re more important than I am, so I push back. It doesn’t matter how good their new ideas are, I can’t let them get a leg up on me by suggesting something different and looking better than me.
“No” becomes the first word out of my mouth.
I’m so afraid of losing my voice in the crowd that I turn everything into a fight for survival. I’m afraid of not being able to excel at a new technology trend or ministry initiative that I’m afraid of trying new things. I’m scared of losing my role and position that I refuse to train others how to do things or allow them to succeed.
Fear of losing what precious little I still have becomes controlling, as I attempt to manipulate my environment and surroundings just to create maximum safety for me.
And ultimately the ministry will decide to move on, because it’s clear that they can’t succeed or grow without someone in my chair who also is willing to embrace a growth mindset.
To really have clout or influence, I can’t allow my focus to be on me. It’s not about whether I get my way or if someone else looks like a hero. I gain influence by being a team player and asking what I can do to help. I cheer on others who are successful. I stretch myself with new things, not being afraid of failure, but excited to think about how new frontiers of thought can help the organization grow and get better. And I freely give away everything I have, because I know my greatest value to the organization is to share my knowledge and train my replacements, ensuring that it will sustain and succeed long after I’m gone.
It's just like other Biblical paradoxes that are seemingly at odds with each other: to get, I must give.
It’s not about me. It’s about serving something bigger than me. Being a servant is the first step to being a leader.
Don’t let the clout-killers keep you from the influence God has planned for you.
