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No one likes getting criticized, and sometimes people in churches can provide some of the harshest criticisms. If you've been a tech director for any length of time, you've had to deal with your fair share of criticism. I've personally had people criticize my actions, my motives, and my heart. It's never fun.
When we are criticized, our tendency is to take one of two paths. The first path is lashing back out. Man, if you can criticize me, then I can dish it right back at you. The other path is over-internalizing the criticism. We stew over this criticism for days, week, and maybe even years.
Scripture gives good advice for how we should handle when someone says something critical and condescending of us.
A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Proverbs – 15:1
This goes against just about every instinct we have. We love to lash out, but this text advises us that we will only cause tempers to flare even more. It is not easy to bite our tongues and offer a soft response when someone says something abrasive to us.
Several years ago, someone criticized not only how I was doing something, and they also implied that I was following some other spirit than God's while doing it. It doesn't get much lower than that for someone in ministry. I ran those conversations over and over in my head for months.
It's ironic that during that same period of time many people offered me encouragement and kind words, but for some reason I weighted the criticism with far more credibility than the encouragement. I noticed that if someone said something encouraging to me I would feel good about myself and play it over in my mind a time or two, but then forget about it. But criticism? It had my full-attention.
A few years later I met this person again and I was still stewing over these comments. I soon realized that this person had forgotten all about what they had said and they were treating me like a normal person again. That caused me to ask myself why I had hung onto these comments for so long.
The valuable lesson that I learned from that event was that when someone criticizes me I should examine the criticism and look for any truth (in this case, there was none). If there is truth, then I should make whatever adjustments that are needed in my life. For all the parts that are untrue, I should simply discard it. Forget it and move on.
Choose to continue to love them and think the best of them and don't take any opportunities to retaliate or speak evil of them.
If you are still wrestling with criticisms that have stung you in your past, it is time to forgive those folks and move forward. Don't let the careless words of a few people control the direction of your life. Choose to continue to love them and think the best of them and don't take any opportunities to retaliate or speak evil of them.
We can learn things in nearly every difficult situation that we face, criticism included. God has a plan, and just because someone has a negative view of you or something you have done doesn't mean that God does.
Perhaps God allowed you to get that criticism to grow you as a person. Here is a chance to follow the example of Christ and turn the other cheek—to bless those that curse you and to pray for those that say evil things about you.
God has a plan, and just because someone has a negative view of you ... doesn't mean that God does.
The next time someone is criticizing you, bite your tongue and do your best to offer them a soft answer in response. If you can learn anything from what they've said, take it. If not, discard the rest. Don't waste your time engaging with them in person, and especially not on social media. Just take the high road and it will lead you in the right direction.
