Sooner or later we all have to deal with confrontation. It's easy to slip into the dreamy ideal that tech ministry will always be fun and enjoyable. But that is just a fantasy. Truth be told, we are dealing with people, and people can often be difficult to work with.
Maybe you are dealing with someone who has been gossiping about someone in your church. Perhaps someone thinks that they have a better way of doing things. There could be a glaring moral shortcoming that needs to be addressed. Regardless of the cause, it's only a matter of time until you will need to confront someone about something.
One of the biggest mistakes that you can make as a leader is failing to confront a situation early enough. We do this because we'd rather just let something slide beneath the surface than to actually call someone out and deal with it.
Honestly, it's not a matter of if you will face confrontation in ministry, it is a matter of when you will face it. Here are a few ideas that you can keep in the back of your mind for the inevitable day that you feel the need to confront someone.
1-Handle it quickly
It is very easy to procrastinate in handling these situations because we don't like conflict or we don't want to come across as the bad guy. But the sooner you can address the situation, the better.
It says in Ephesians, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” The longer you let confrontation go unaddressed, the more infectious it can become.
2-Walk in humility
Matthew wrote in chapter 18 verse 15, “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense.” The idea here is to walk in humility. You are not trying to bring the issue out in front of more people than necessary, and you want to give them the opportunity to resolve the issue early.
3-Don't take sides
Whenever a confrontation involves more than one person there is a natural tendency to take sides. Resist the urge. Try to be a peacemaker in the situation and listen to both sides. As you prayerfully seek to hear the entire situation, God will give you the wisdom and guidance you need to help bring restoration.
4-Seek restoration
The goal of confrontation should be to bring restoration, not punishment. Certainly some issues are more serious than others, and some may have consequences, but our goal should always be to help the offending person to get their life back on track. We do this by praying for the person and sincerely believing the best in them.
Although this may be one of the more unpleasant things you have to do in ministry, it is critically important. By quickly and effective dealing with confrontation you will protect the unity of the church … and you may even help someone get their life back on track in the process.
