Do you disregard suggestions from fellow techs? Do they avoid talking to you? Do you think you're above making mistakes? Do musicians view you with disdain? If you answered "yes" to these questions, you have an ego problem.
Merriam-Webster defines ego as “the opinion that you have about yourself.” It's good to have a healthy, honest opinion of yourself. The problem occurs when you deny your shortcomings, your failings, and you view yourself as better than others. In church-speak, having an ego problem means being self-righteous. Yep, I went there. Doubt the comparison? Being self-righteous means you are confident of your righteousness and you're intolerant of the opinions and behaviors of others. Sound familiar?
Guess what?
That's not who you were called to be.
You are a new creation in Christ. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. You're called to do great things for the Kingdom of God and you can be a better person. It's time to leave your ego at the door.
I've seen techs with ego problems. Their views of themselves led them to a place where the quality of their work plateaued and working relationships were strained. You're doing ministry work, God's work. Stop embracing yourself. Throw off your ego and throw your arms around God.
Being self-righteous means you are confident of your righteousness and you're intolerant of the opinions and behaviors of others. Sound familiar?
Look at yourself through God's eyes. God wants to pour blessing upon you. I was reminded of this in a big way when I once received the Worship Fertilizer newsletter by Dave Helmuth. Dave gave a list of areas where God pours His blessing upon us. Take a look at just four of these:
1. Sweet Peace: “The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.” Psalm 29:11 (NLT)
2. Amazing Grace: “For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” Psalm 84:11 (NLT)
3. Push-Through Power: “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” Isaiah 40:29 (NLT)
4. Fear-Crushing Love: “For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)
God loves you completely and without hesitation. He desires to shower you with peace and grace and power and love. And did you catch the phrasing of that last one? Fear-crushing love. I'll take that any day.
Ask yourself questions like, why do I have an ego problem, what led to it, and how has it impacted those around me?
Growing as a sound tech, lighting tech, technical director, or whatever your situation, requires that you do two things: learn the skills of your craft and learn to lean on God. You are His hands. He is using you to shape the church service environment. You are working alongside Him to change lives. There is no room for an inflated ego.
If you struggle with ego problems and are ready to break the chains, take these three steps:
1. Spend time in self-reflection. Ask yourself questions like, why do I have an ego problem, what led to it, and how has it impacted those around me? Meditate on the words of James 3:17 which read, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”
2. Partner with a spiritual mentor. Look for someone in your church who has a strong relationship with God and ask them to be your mentor. Be open with them about your struggles and allow them to help you break the chains.
3. Plan for a 30-day review. Imagine where you'd like to see yourself in 30 days. Start answering questions like, “What would it take to rebuild trust with those around me?” and “Who gets my first apology?” and the best question of all, “How could God use me if I was more the person He wants me to be?”
It seems fitting to leave you with a blessing from the book of Numbers: May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; may the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. Amen.
