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If someone does something differently than how we would do it, are they doing it wrong, or just doing it differently? Does their way compromise our ability to get great results, or are they just using their own flair to achieve the same results through different means?
Feedback is one of the most critical, but often overlooked, parts of the ministry development process.
Jesus was constantly coaching his disciples, and Paul’s epistles are full of numerous examples of Him providing feedback from afar for those who He was leading.
However, for many of us in the church tech arena, it can be easy to dodge the “feedback” portion of leading our tech teams. We may like to say that we’re introverted, or that the process makes us feel uncomfortable, or we claim that we don’t know what to say, and we end up avoiding the situation altogether.
Proverbs tells us how wise people learn from counsel and instruction. If we’re withholding those things from our teams, we’re preventing them from growing and maturing.
The problem with that is we end up shirking a major part of our leadership responsibilities. Proverbs constantly talks about how wise people learn from counsel and instruction, and if we’re withholding those opportunities from the teams we lead, we’re preventing them from growing and maturing.
Regardless of whether we see ourselves as “people people” or if we feel comfortable enough in our own skin to provide coaching and feedback to our volunteer and staff teams, that doesn’t make it any less necessary. In fact, keeping constructive feedback from our teams simply because of our own discomfort is a selfish way to handle the process; we value our own feelings in the moment more than we value the other person’s ability to learn, grow, and improve their future.
So, to avoid the awkwardness we sometimes give vague platitudes and generic statements, hoping that we’re able to dodge anything that feels tense or controversial.
The best feedback is true, but it also ensures that the recipient feels valued, loved, and appreciated during the conversation.
On the flip side though, there may be some of us who are too free with our feedback. Maybe it’s easy for us to give critiques of someone’s performance, and because of this, we can get labeled as being negative (even though we may claim we’re just being pragmatic or realistic), rude, or insensitive. Sometimes we can unintentionally push away the people we’re called to lead because they feel we don’t care about or value their feelings.
Neither of these extremes is healthy. We shouldn’t avoid giving feedback altogether, nor should we provide so much of it that it creates a negative or unhealthy culture.
Instead, the balance in the middle encompasses a “truth in love” mix, as Paul explains in Eph. 4:15 (NIV).
The best feedback is true, but it also ensures that the recipient feels valued, loved, and appreciated during the conversation.
To really love someone during that process is to show that we appreciate them as a person, we value their contribution to the team, and see their future potential. We need them to understand that their worth doesn’t hinge on perfect performance (which we know they’re incapable of providing) and that we're committed to helping them grow and develop in their skills and calling.
Many church techs see their personal value tied to their performance. If we fail at a task, we can easily see ourselves as a failures.
This component is a huge one, since so many techs see their personal value tied to their performance. If we fail at a task, we can easily see ourselves as a failures. We can be our own worst critic and beat ourselves up thinking that we’ve let our leaders down.
So, knowing that our teams may feel those tendencies, we as their leaders need to provide reassurance and security when providing feedback and coaching, so the team doesn’t feel their personal value is being diminished or attacked.
However, we can’t err so far on the “love” side of the conversation that I neglect to provide clear guidance and direction on where the improvements need to be.
This, then, leads to another crossroads.
When we're giving feedback about performance, are we focusing on something that conflicts with our personal preference or style, or is the performance out of alignment with a greater vision that the organization has?
We all have personal preferences: ways that we want things to be done just because we like them being done a certain way. But is it critical that other people do them that exact way too? If someone does something differently than how we would do it, are they doing it wrong, or just doing it differently? Does their way compromise our ability to get great results, or are they just using their own flair to achieve the same results through different means?
This is where feedback and empowerment often butt heads. As leaders, we want to empower our teams to use their skills and perspectives to make a decision based on the vision presented to them. We're not trying to create robots that do exactly what we want them to do all the time. We need them to understand the vision, weigh options, and then decide what path to go down.
Knowing this, when we provide any sort of correction or feedback, it’s imperative that we're able to focus on the bigger picture. Did they lose sight of the vision and make bad decisions? Or were they locked in on the vision but just took a different path than we would have?
When we present the “truth” side of the correction, we need to remember that the overall vision itself is the truth we should be focusing on, not a personal style or preference. The methods we pursue to achieve vision will always need to remain flexible; the end goal will not. We always replace batteries in wireless mics before service, but the order in which we address each microphone may not have to be written in stone.
Truth and love must live hand-in-hand during the feedback process. Not only does this allow our teams to grow, but it also shows that we, as leaders, are on our own path of growth and development as well.
