Production people are often caught between two marriages --- the marriage between their spouse and their love for production. These two passions often conflict with each other, and one always wins. The sad truth is that many times our love for production ruins the most important relationship God has given us on earth.
I've spent a lot of time with about six different production guys all of whom were married. Now all but two of them divorced, or are on their way to divorce. If asked, all would probably say the real reason for divorce wasn't because their wife was crazy or because they always argued, it was because their wife felt neglected.
The question remains: “Can you have a healthy passion for production without it ruining your other relationships?” I believe the answer is yes. Here are a few thoughts to help balance your two marriages.
Set Boundaries
Most of us would have no problem devoting 100% of our time making the Sunday production look, sound, and feel better. Between retuning, reprogramming lights, and spending a little more editing time on that video testimony, our lives could be consumed with work at church. That is why it is important to know when to walk away. It is important to know when we have to say we can't work anymore because it is time to be with family. How do you do this? You do this by asking yourself how much time does my family need with me to be healthy every week. Once you have determined how much time you need to keep your family life healthy, use that to shape how much time you can spend working each week. Set boundaries, and ask your spouse to hold you accountable.
Set boundaries, and ask your spouse to hold you accountable
Identify Busy Seasons
There are always going to be busier seasons in ministry. For example, Christmas and Easter always are going to take more work. For some of you the fourth of July could also be a big day. Whatever your church's “Big Days” are, identify them and let your spouse know weeks in advance that when these days come around you are going to be busier. Most often the greatest complaint that spouses of tech directors have is that they are left out of the loop. If that's the issue, then keep them informed as much as possible.
Help Your Pastor Realize What He Is Asking
Often we end up pulling all-nighters because our pastor asked for something that he had no idea would take as long as it does. Help him realize when he asks for things how long it will take. Be specific. Give him an estimate of the hours it will take, and be liberal with that amount. Often when pastors realize the man-hours required, they become better at asking for things farther in advance. This would also be the place where personal boundaries are set.
Most production people not good delagators
You Don't Have To Do Alone
The greatest thing you can do is take the time to train volunteers to help you with your projects. Don't just give them tasks, train them to see what you see. It may take a little longer in the beginning, but it will give you new resources to depend on to get stuff done. Most production people not good delagators. However, the most effective production people are those that develop good teams.
Make Up for Lost Time
When you do have a busy season, show your family that they are important enough to spend extra time with them before or after that busy season. For some, that may involve spending some extra time at home or a small weekend trip. Find out what makes them feel valued and do it before or after busy seasons.
If you want a healthy balance between your production life and your family life, it requires being intentional and making a commitment to set boundaries. When you do it, God will not only bless your family, but he will also bless your ministry for being a good steward.
